


When Science Goes South

by JayTDawgzone9999



Category: Space ☆ Dandy
Genre: Crack, Gen, I just rolled with it, No Romance, No Sex, No Smut, This is another one of my semi-rare contributions to the Space Dandy fandom, and too many people are sleeping on it, but dammit I'm rolling with it anyways because Space Dandy is a good ass show, if you have questions, join the club because so do I, my brain produced this when I was barely awake, so take this Space Dandy fandom, this is my gift to us, which is small as fuck and may or may not even be a thing anymore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-26 23:27:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18727006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JayTDawgzone9999/pseuds/JayTDawgzone9999
Summary: Dr. Gel struggles to write a fanfic and nobody else understands the depths of his suffering.





	When Science Goes South

**Author's Note:**

> Why would Dr. Gel write a fanfic, you might ask. 
> 
> Well, answer me this: Why wouldn't he?

Dr. Gel was many things: tall, hairy, eccentric, completely incapable of coordinating a decent looking outfit, among others.  
Unfortunately for both himself and other people alike, rational wasn't one of those things. 

"Dr. Gel?" Bea asked his boss in a voice that merely hinted at his near-constant downtrodden, dejected state of being that was life his working for the mad space ape scientist rather than openly, brazenly advertised his emotional distress. 

Dr. Gel, of course, ignored his beleaguered assistant, being too focused on his puzzlingly bizarre task, cackling like a hyena who just discovered meth. 

"Dr. Gel, I hate to disturb you, but there's been reports of-aaahhh!!!!" Bea screamed when he tripped and dropped the cup of tea he had made for his delusional boss. 

 

"Ah, yes, this is it! My moment in the sun has finally arrived!" Dr. Gel whooped, howling at full volume as he took pen to paper. "Now, after all this time, the fruits of my labor will finally pay off-I can enjoy them while they're ripe and ready for the picking!" Dr. Gel hooted and howled with his usual manic, frenzied glee, raising the decibel level on his spaceship an alarming amount. 

Bea couldn't take it anymore. 

It-this was too much, he decided. 

Yes, he told himself that everyday, Bea thought to himself while he began wiping up the spilled tea-no use crying over it, of course, but it still pissed him off. 

Why did he have to (literally and figuratively) clean up Dr. Gel's messes (why did Dr. Gel even want milk in his tea anyways-he was lactose intolerant, after all,) Bea thought. 

Ah well. No point in trying to unearth the secrets of that which was completely and utterly unfathomable.  
Bea had learned that lesson long ago after an encounter with an indescribable nameless horror that-

"Aaaaagh!" Bea screamed when Dr. Gel slammed his open palm on a desk, the noise startling him so much that he fell right into a puddle of hot tea. 

"No! No No No No No No No No No No No!!!!!!!!! This will not be-this will not be how it ends!!!!!" Dr. Gel howled in agony. 

"This cannot be!" he went on, struggling to move his arm-the pen was so close-the paper was still blank, save for a few scratched out scribbled lines of nonsense. 

Dr. Gel's arm cramped, his head sweating like a pig at a Fourth of July cookout, his hands itching to do something-anything, yet his brain wouldn't let them move. 

Suddenly, Bea turned away from the annoying and disappointing sight of Dr. Gel screaming at a sheet of paper like a madman when the head of the Golgol empire, Admiral Perry, showed up on their mini tv screen, announcing that there had been a startling discovery regarding pionium and a certain pompadour-haired alien hunter. 

"Yes sir, Admiral Perry, I'll inform Dr. Gel at once!" Bea assured the admiral. 

This was huge news-information like this could change everything, Bea realized. 

He had to tell Dr. Gel and that was exactly what he was about to do when-

Bea looked out the window when he saw a flash of light-

"Dr. Gel! Dr. Gel sir, it's Space Dandy!-He's-" 

But Dr. Gel, never a good listener, was still preoccupied. 

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" the doctor yelled, smashing something with his fist. "This will never do! I can't-I can't do this-writer's block, you've screwed me over for the last time!" he screamed with horrifying anguish and blinding white-hot rage, smashing a button that by all means shouldn't have existed in the first place. 

Bea could only look on in horror as Dr. Gel blew up the Aloha-Oe, obliterating it and its occupants off the map forever-at least in this dimension-for the rest of time, the doctor howling in anguish as he dramatically tore a sheet of paper into confetti, tears streaming down his face with abandon. 

Admiral Perry would surely kill them when he found out about this, Bea realized. 

Space Dandy and his crew had been wiped out of their dimension with one thoughtless impulse from the doctor, who had been too busy wrestling with writer's block to see the very real and important objective right in front of him-to capture Dandy and crew alive to deliver them to Admiral Perry.

Bea looked at the screaming mad ape scientist and then back out the window. 

If he survived his next meeting with the admiral, Bea thought, he would definitely need a vacation.


End file.
